Dating Mishaps, Sexual Inexperience, and Self-Identity in Ryan O’Connell’s Special
By Alexis La’Shay Smith
I have Spastic Quadriplegia cerebral palsy, which is a physical disability caused by a lack of oxygen to the brain at birth. My diagnosis means that I have involuntary body movements and muscle spasms as well as all four of my limbs being affected. My legs are very stiff, but I walk with forearm crutches. I also use a power wheelchair for long distances.
Most of the time, when I think of disability representation in the media, I feel angry because some able-bodied actresses or actors have played disabled characters, which is offensive. These actors appear to be mocking someone’s real-life situation. For example, Zac Efron is an able-bodied actor who played a teenage boy who had autism in a movie called Miracle Run.
However, when I discovered the Netflix series called Special, which aired from 2019 to 2021, I was thrilled to learn that the main character, Ryan Hayes, played by Ryan O’Connell has cerebral palsy in real life. This was the first series that I saw with a person with my disability being the star. I was thrilled about this television show, because I knew this series would show society what it really looks like to live with a disability while trying to adapt to a world that does not understand you. As opposed to an able-bodied actor trying to study someone else from the disabled community in hopes of mimicking body movements, personality traits, or limitations. Special is not only a very unique series because it’s about a young man with cerebral palsy, but Ryan is also gay. The main themes of the television series are a disabled man who is advocating for independence and searching for true love.
In society, the disability community is perceived as being asexual, so it was a relief to see Ryan initiate a kiss between himself and Keaton at his boss Olivia’s pool party. Ryan kissing Keaton first illustrates the fact that people with disabilities are attracted to other people, despite how the media wants to portray the disabled community to be single or only have platonic relationships. This romantic scene reminded me of the time when I was first kissed by a boy, and I thought that the kiss was long and wet where I felt like I could not breathe. The show made it clear that Ryan was nervous due to his lack of experience. Furthermore, I smiled when Ryan asked if the kiss was bad. This was an accurate representation of the insecurities that some inexperienced disabled people have within a romantic relationship.
Another method to Special attempting to end the assumptions that all disabled people are asexual is when Ryan’s co-worker, Kim, takes interest in wanting him to experience sex for the first time. It is indicated that she most likely wants him to feel like any other 28-year-old man. Since Ryan was not comfortable with meeting anyone online initially, Kim arranged for him to have a session with a sex worker named Shay. When I saw that scene I thought it was very considerate and patient of Shay to carry out the sexual act slow and ask Ryan if he could hold his legs up. I thought this scene was one of the most compassionate scenes throughout the whole series because in real life most able-bodied people who do not know a disabled individual well would have probably gave up on the interaction thinking that it was too complicated trying to help Ryan position his body properly for sex. This scene demonstrates that if someone is truly interested in someone else being patient or talking to make sure both people are comfortable and give consent before having sex is not a hassle, it would just be considered a normal part of the process. Additionally, I also thought it was interesting that Ryan told Shay after having sex that the next time he would actually have his own partner to share this encounter with. This explanation implied that Ryan was trying to assure Shay that he would not continuously need services because he was confident that he knew what to sexually do now, and he had the confidence that he will be able to find a guy independently.
As the series progresses, Ryan struggles with self identifying as a disabled person. In one episode, his boss Olivia thought that she was extending a nice gesture to Ryan by setting him up with her Deaf cousin. Ryan indicated that he was not into dating Michael, because he did not expect him to be disabled as well. It seems like Ryan did not want to date someone else from the disabled community because he openly admitted that he did not identify as being disabled since his diagnosis is considered mild. Furthermore, Ryan struggled with setting boundaries within a relationship. In a longer storyline, he accepted a polyamorus relationship because he felt he did not have the right or the privilege to voice what kind of relationship he wanted to be in. On the other hand, Ryan learns to take space from his overprotective mother throughout the show.
By Season 2, Ryan’s attitude towards disability evolves. He goes to a support group of disabled individuals. He befriends the members of this diverse group with different types of disabilities. I recommend Special to anyone who is open minded about exploring self identity and who you want to date. The disabled community deserves representation within the media especially as it pertains to romantic relationships because we all like to explore our options just as much as anyone else.
Alexis La’Shay Smith (she/her) is a 27-year-old recent graduate from Northeastern Illinois University with a Bachelor’s in Communications. She is a proud model and dancer with Rebirth Garments from Chicago. Alexis enjoys writing and acting. In her freetime, she participates in adaptive sports, goes to see Broadway plays, burlesque, and drag shows.
